One of my favourite “scenes” to come out of Twitter is a variety of character accounts. Most of these are satire, some are poignant, and nearly all of them are a form of role-playing.
Without a doubt, one of the masters of this form is Joe Sondow. He has several accounts, the most popular of which are ostensibly maintained by various characters on Star Trek: TNG.
Picard perspective tip: Space is big. Bigger than you think. No, bigger than that.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) January 4, 2018
Data,
My security team has located your animal. Its feet are covered in paint. There are paw prints all over deck 11.
Worf
— Worf Email (@WorfEmail) November 13, 2017
Quark morality tip: Money is the root of all evil, and I'll gladly help you relieve yourself of that burden.
— Quark Tips (@QuarkTips) November 25, 2013
Picard management tip: No one can relax around Dr. Jekyll after they have met Mr. Hyde.
— Picard Tips (@PicardTips) January 28, 2018
If I had to pick a personal favourite, it would be “Riker Googling”. As the name suggests, the feed contains various search terms that Riker might enter into a 24th century equivalent to Google. Sometimes it’s (mostly) within the canon of the series.
starfleet uniform code is underwear required or optional?
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 18, 2014
zero gravity sex harness
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 28, 2014
Other times it’s as if he’s following our Twitter timelines on a 350-year delay.
is the tesla car still orbiting mars
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 10, 2018
how much caffeine is in covfefe
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) May 31, 2017
And sometimes there are short threads of related tweets, usually with a running joke that’s apparent right away. Recently, however, Sondow pulled off a slow-burn joke that I didn’t see coming at all. It started out innocuous, if a little odd.
do skunks hide on starships
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 12, 2018
can ship sensors detect skunks
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 12, 2018
Mostly it just made me giggle, because skunks are cute as heck. About an hour later, it became clearer what was going on.
what else causes skunk smell
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 12, 2018
difference between skunk and marijuana smell
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
does synthaweed smell the same as marijuana
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
how to find marijuana on starship
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
Okay, so someone on the Enterprise smuggled some weed on board, or they’re experimenting with replicator patterns. And apparently, not only did Riker find the source of the smell, he decided to partake, judging by what followed a few hours later.
why are beards so loud
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
could space explore us
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
are there shoes for your hands
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
A brief break (probably to get snacks), and then another trio of tweets, before he crashed for the night.
how to start a jazz band
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 13, 2018
what happens if you pee in zero gravity
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 14, 2018
how to turn off gravity in one room of a starship
— Riker Googling (@RikerGoogling) February 14, 2018
Bravo, Mr Sondow, we’ll be watching to see if there’s a follow-up on 4/20.
You can support Joe’s activities via Patreon.
And for other entertaining Twitter accounts, check out these articles:
12 Very Funny Twitter Parody Accounts
The 10 Funniest Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow Right Now
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