Star Wars & The Rise of Idiot Journalism with Matt Granger

WARNING: Spoilers

No doubt you’ve seen 40 Unforgivable Plot Holes in Star Wars: The Force Awakens cross your Facebook feed since the film’s December 18th release. The only thing fans of the film found unforgivable was that the Seth Abramson article is nothing more than Huffington Post click-bait:

2. The wily Han Solo loses track of his most prized possession, the Millennium Falcon, for more than a dozen years. He has no idea where it is — in the entire Galaxy. When you lose something in your house, that’s bad; when you lose something on your planet, you kiss it goodbye but pray for a miracle; when you lose something in the entire Galaxy, you just get on with your life. And yet, less than a minute after Rey begins piloting the Millennium Falcon, Han looks out the window of his freighter and says, “Oh, there it is.”

It’s clear the author didn’t actually see the film — and if he did, was in the restroom during most of it.

Rey and Finn escape in the Millennium Falcon

The explosion behind Finn is the brain of Hollywood screenwriter Matt Granger after reading The Huffington Post take-down of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

In a spectacular expletive-laced response, Hollywood screenwriter Matt Granger rips the arms off this Gundar of an author:

Try finding your car after it’s been stolen. Try finding your kid’s bike once some asshole has swiped it. Try finding your virginity even if you know exactly where you lost it. This is an entire galaxy we’re talking about here, not the backseat of a ‘93 Ford Taurus.
Admittedly, I thought it was somewhat convenient that Han happened upon the ship, but he explains later that it wasn’t luck that he found the Falcon. It was found by his freighter’s scanners which conceivably could’ve been set to keep watch for it.
Also, I don’t want to speculate, but there’s a ton about Rey’s past and the denizens of Jakku in general that’s still going to be revealed in future films. Han may have even left the damn thing in the hands of Unkar Plutt in case he needed to use it to protect Rey. We just don’t know yet.

 

Granger’s fingerprints are all over films like Man of Steel and X-Men 2, and is helping put Fifty Shades of Grey 2 and 3 together. And he’s sick of people with no understanding of filmmaking acting as armchair directors.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I’ve grown exhausted with the horseshit, hater culture that online, millennial ‘journalists’ use to click-bait their way to some sort of self-perceived intellectual high ground. Hate first. Don’t bother asking questions later.

He joined us on S04E135 of The Geeks & Beats Podcast to fill-in the plot-holes from the latest Star Wars film and tease us with what he’s working on next.

This Millennium Falcon cutaway reveals all about Science Fiction's most prized hunk of junk from the Star Wars universe

This Millennium Falcon cutaway reveals all about Science Fiction’s most prized hunk of junk. Click to embiggen.

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