Big Bat Theory

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We rarely take up social or political causes on the show–frankly, we just can’t be arsed–but we’ve finally found a grassroots movement we can support. We need to make Ozzy Osbourne a knight of the British Empire. That’s why we went all the way to Australia to speak to Helen Maidotis, who is spearheading this global effort to force Her Majesty to create the UK’s first “Sir Ozzy.” Please join her, won’t you?

On a related note, there’s now a Amazonian frog named after Ozzy. That’s cool, but not quite as cool as a knighthood, is it? I mean, it’s not the kind of thing that’ll get you a free pint down at the pub.

Also on this week’s episode:

• That comet everyone’s been so concerned with lately?  It’s “singing.” Either that or it’s actually some kind of Von Neumann machine that’s trying to communicate to us puny humans. Is it finally time to welcome our new alien overlords?
• G&B Book Club, Part 1:  If you’re into geeky novels, you really should read Us Conductors, the Giller Prize-winner by Sean Michaels.
• G&B Book Club, Part 2: Hey, one percenters! Buy this Rolling Stones coffee table book for $10,000!
• A co-producer credit/anniversary gift! How sweet.
• How to stay married: Advice from me and Michael.
• Why so the songs played on so many radio stations sound like badly-encoded MP3s? I’ll explain.
• I also have some interesting thoughts on the new Foo Fighters album. My thesis? This album doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.
• And we examine the history of rock stars and air rage.

Feel free to browse the Geeks&Beats website for contributions from our stable of (unpaid) writers. We also have a new (also unpaid) Washington bureau chief!  Seriously. We do.

Other things we need you to do:

1. Leave us a voicemail with questions, comments or lewd messages:  (323) 319-NERD.
2. Buy some swag. We’re trying to finance a Christmas party for our (unpaid) writing staff.
3. Be a co-producer. For a mere $25, you can say you’re part of Internet history. And you can put this producer credit on your resume. We’ll vouch for you when it comes to getting that next gig.
4. We’re looking for people to provide new audio production pieces:  Jingles, stingers, stagers, etc. (The job is unpaid, of course). But if we use your stuff, it’s something you can put on your resume. Again, we’ll vouch for you. Honest.
5. We still need more likes on our Facebook page. We’re not above buying them, but we’d rather be honest about things.
6. Subscribe through iTunes. Tell your friends. Don’t make us go the U2 route because we will.

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